Fido & Me - No can do


“Road trip, Fido! Fetch your feed!”

“Oh boy, oh-boy, oh-boy. Where are we going?”

“It’s quite up to you, Fido. I have nothing on the radar that jumps out at me. But every now and then it’s good to get out of Dodge.”

“Let’s go to where it’s warm. Death Valley!”

“Um, there’s a problem with that. Can’t go to Death Valley.”

“But I’ve heard that it’s a lot better than it sounds.”

“True enough, but only if you’re a two-footer, and even then, there are rules.”

“But … but … but …”

“I know, but that’s how it is. It’s a National Park. National Parks will let you in, but you can’t really get out of the car, and even then, you have to be on a six-foot leash or shorter and can’t go on the trails.”

“I don’t get it.”

“Me neither, but over the years there have problems with dogs at national parks, including Death Valley. There are a lot of reasons why you can’t be a dog in Death Valley.”

“Then let’s go somewhere else! How about Joshua Tree?!?”

“Fido, Joshua Tree is also a National Park. No can do.”

“But … but … but … can you at least tell me about Joshua Tree?”

“Really, all I can do is tell you about what other people have told me about Joshua Tree, and Death Valley, too, for that matter. I can’t go to those places either, on account of I’d never go anywhere without you, Fido. I’d spend the whole time walking around, wondering what you’d be up to back home.”

“Can cats go?”

“I don’t think there are any rules about cats.”

“That,” Fido said, “is unfair.”

“Ayeesh, Fido, tell me where else you’d like to go.”

“Let’s go to Yosemite Valley! I’d love-it, love-it, love-it if you’d take me there. I’m fired up! Ready to go!”

“Fido, you don’t want to go to Yosemite Valley. It’s a National Park. They hate you there, because you’re a dog.”


“Yeah, again.”

“But that means that humans who go to National Parks either don’t have dogs, or spend all day walking around missing their dogs.”

“Not always, Big Boy. There are lots of travelers who go to National Parks, and they’ve had to leave their dogs in whatever country they came from. And there are lots of other examples.”

“So what’s your favorite National Park?” Fido wanted to know.

“Gosh, I don’t have an opinion, because I have spent so little time in them, because they don’t allow dogs. Anyway, we live in Mammoth, and the whole Eastside is kind of like an ‘accidental’ national park.”

“I don’t think I need to fetch my feed,” Fido said, “and I don’t think we should have a road trip.”

“Aww, what’s the matter?”

“We should just stay home in our Accidental National Park! Maybe have a walk around the neighborhood, or head up to the Obsidian Dome. You can ski and I can romp. It’ll be great! Anyway, with a big coat like mine, I’m not really into warm spots.”

“Ok then, I’ll get my skis and we can leave as soon as I load them into the car. It’s probably a better idea, all-around, than trying for a big road trip anyway, even though it’s warm in the desert and I like warm, and we haven’t been out of town for a while.”

“You know what I call Obsidian Dome?” Fido said.

“What would that be?”

“Dog Valley! Let’s go! Hey-hey-hey-hey!”