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Fido & Me — Ski Season

November 9, 2012

“IT’S SKI SEASON! Hey hey hey hey!”

“Whoa, Fido, don’t get all in a lather, you know? Yes, the ski area is open, but just take a look!”

We were on the deck on a sunshiny day early in the week. Temps were September-ish. The October snow was all but gone on the side streets, walkways and south-facing curbsides. From where we sat, Lincoln Mountain looked a bit thin and the cold air was only in the forecasts.

“Woo-hoo!” Fido cried. “A little summertime before the ski season never hurt anybody,” he said. “Anyway, I’ve been looking forward to this for so long.”

“How long, Fido?”

Fido & Me — GoSniff

November 2, 2012

“I’m not sure how to work this suction-cup mount,” Fido said.

“Well, it’s not going to fit on the end of your snout. That’s just a hunch, but I think it’s a good one.”

“Arummphh. Uraggh.”

“Fido, just what in the world are you doing?”

“I have a new GoSniff, but I can’t get it to work right.”

“GoSniff? What in the world is a GoSniff?”

“It’s like a GoPro, but those things are useless for dogs.”

Fido and Me – Road Trip!

October 26, 2012

“I got the Can’t-Waits!”

“Fido, move over, will you? I want to get this travel case stored properly, you know?”

“I know we’re going somewhere,” Fido panted. “Where could it possibly be?”

“That’s the beauty of this kind of a road trip, Old Man. With really nothing on my mind and nowhere in particular to go, why don’t you tell me, for a change?”

“I want to go to the Biscuit Capital of America!”

“Where the heck is that?”

Fido & Me- Chunky Fido

October 19, 2012

 

“Do you think I’m getting a bit too chunky?”

Fido was in front of the mirror after his weekend brushfest, and he was not amused with what he saw.

“On the other hand,” he said, “I’m looking at some pretty chunky football players, and they seem to be doing all right, throwing each other around the field and generally creating mayhem.”

“Is mayhem what you want, Fido?”

Fido and Me – Ciao Fido

October 12, 2012

“I had a great Columbus Day,” Fido said.

“Gosh, Fido, I had no idea. It seemed like a regular day of work for me, except for no snail mail and the banks were closed. Oh yeah, and there were a bunch of Columbus Day sales events online.”

Fido & Me Fidofeedback

October 5, 2012

 

“I think I’d like to try biofeedback.”

“Fido, that is SO 90s.”

“But I’d still like to try it. I am, to put it simply, a wreck!”

“Gosh Fido, I had no idea. You look OK to me and you seem to be sleeping all right, and your diet seems to be right on target.”

“Verily,” Fido said, “but I dissemble.”

Fido the debater

September 28, 2012

“What’s a debate?”

“A debate can be a lot of things, Fido, but basically it is when two people with different ideas engage in argument under a certain set of agreed-upon rules.”

Fido thought about this for a moment or two.

“Why don’t they just bark at each other?” he wanted to know. “That works for me, and lots of other dogs around here.”

“They do, in that human kind of way. Sometimes they have a little coyote yip in their voices; sometimes they let loose with a basso profondo. But you’re right. It’s basically just barking at each other.”

Fido & Me — Fido the writer

September 21, 2012

“I’d like to make a paragraph but I don’t know how to do it,” Fido said.

“It’s not too hard, Fido. Just press the ‘return’ key and then hit the ‘tab’ key and you’re hunky dory. Do you mind if I ask what you’re doing?”

Fido was quite a sight. He had managed to pull on a green copy-editor visor and was now scrunched over the keyboard.

“I am going to be the first dog member of the Outdoor Writers Association of California!” he cried.

He had all the necessary stuff. Where and how he learned to pack a notebook, a digital camera, and a GoPro, I have no idea.

What we're reading in Mammoth: Sept. 14-20

September 14, 2012

A totally random sampling of what Mammothites are reading, culled from here and there, appearing every now and then

 

Mary Canada, Eastern California Museum archivist: “The Next 100 Years,” by George Friedman.

Fido & Me — Muzzle Man

September 14, 2012

“What the heck is THIS?” Fido wanted to know.

“It’s a bag of treats!”

“Hey hey hey hey!” he said. “What’s that other thing?”

“Oh this little old thing?” I said, and reached—tentatively— into the shopping bag. “It’s a muzzle, Fido, and it goes around your nose and mouth, kind of like your Gentle Leader.”

“I hate it already,” Fido said.

“Yeah, I know, but you can’t have one, the bag of treats, without the other, you big red lug. It’s going to snow pretty soon, and we have to get used to you wearing this thing, or they won’t let you on the bus.”

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