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January 20th, 2012

January 13th

Fido and Me – Gentle does it

January 13, 2012

 

January 6th

Fido and Me – Fortune Cookie

January 6, 2012

Fido is having the time of his life.

Every day is the finest time of his life, if you ask me, but even I would admit that this day ranks right up there.

He is reading his fortunes.

“Dog who pee on dog gets a leg up on the competition,” he intoned. Waiting a comedic moment, he then howled in glee.

Fido had received a box of dog fortune cookies in the mail. Who from? He doesn’t know. An admirer. But right there on the Chinese takeout box, was the label, “Kung Fu Fido,” made somewhere in Minnesota.

December 16th, 2011

Fido and Me – Dog Songs

December 16, 2011

Fido is shopping.

“The trick,” he said, “is to find gifts that dogs themselves dig, rather than humans. Get it? Digging dogs?”

Fido paused to lick his, um, belly. He lay near the table, dictating to me as I worked the Web on his behalf. His legs are as nimble as fence posts, and his paws just can’t work a keyboard.

“You have an actual strategy?” I asked.

“Why, yes,” he said.

“I get it. You are a very clever dog, my good man.” I gave him a pat and a scratch.

Fido closed his eyes halfway. He was in thought.

December 9th

Fido and Me – Passing gas

December 9, 2011

Fido does not pass gas.

“It’s an untoward behavior,” he said the other night. We lay in bed, ready for a long winter’s nap. “It’s no more acceptable than it is in humans.”

“It’s a good thing you think like that,” I said. “Otherwise you’d be outside.”

We had just finished reading the long, long, l-o-n-g New York Times article about purebred dogs, especially bulldogs.

“Inveterate farters,” said Fido. “It’s why I didn’t mind that the Georgia Bulldogs didn’t win. Not even the Superdome would be able to mitigate their behavior.”

December 2nd

Fido and Me – Deep breathing

December 2, 2011

Fido is teaching me deep breathing.

“Hey, hey, hey hey!”

He lay on his side and invited me over.

“I have noticed that lots of humans don’t quite get this,” he said, “but once you get the hangdog of it, it’s easy and it will make you feel better.”

I had just passed through a weekend of football — college and pro. During the Iowa-Nebraska game a week ago, I was a total wreck. I can handle a boring game if my guys come out on top, but alas, it was that kind of game and that kind of season.

November 18th

Fido anticipates a hard winter. Happily

November 18, 2011

Fido hates the woodstove.

Go figure. Dogs are supposed to love them, if you believe the pictures in the L.L. Bean catalogs.

“Get me out of here,” he pleaded. “What is this? Aruba?”

This was on one of those really cold days in early November, when the wind howled and the temperatures dove. Outside, our street was frozen solid, with icy spots all over the place.

I built a fire in the woodstove and things were darned cozy at our place, at least for me.

Fido retreated from the living room and took up a post under the dining room table. He panted.

November 11th

Fido occupies Oakland, Mammoth

November 11, 2011

“People get the wrong idea about Oakland,” Fido said.

“Yeah, I know. What makes you say that?”

“I was there for more than a month, and I didn’t see anything like the stuff that showed up on the Jon Stewart Show or the TV news.”

Fido leafed through the California section of the Sunday New York Times, pondering the pictures. When Fido reads the papers, it’s awkward because his finger dexterity is poor, and he tends to get distracted easily.

This time, he lingered.

November 8th

What's Up, Up Here, Nov. 4

November 8, 2011

ictor and Dennee Alcala welcomed a baby boy, Ezra Xavier on Sept. 30. “Ezra arrived late but was well worth the wait. He has been welcomed into the world by a large, loving circle of family and friends who have provided support in countless ways,” sez the new parents. …

October 21st

What's Up Up Here for Oct. 21

October 21, 2011

Our deepest condolences to longtime local Stacy Corless, who lost her sister, Lisa, on Oct. 16. Our hearts go out to Stacy and to all of Lisa’s friends and family. …

October 17th

What's Up, Up Here, Oct. 14

October 17, 2011

“Welcome back, Ziggy!” That’s Ziggy, the much-beloved, black cat that belongs to Crowley Lake residents Fred and Patti Stump. Ziggy disappeared early last weekend and still wasn’t back Monday morning. As any Eastside cat owner has learned, after three days of being missing, it’s rare for a cat to come home again around here. But on Monday morning, Patti Stump decide to try again, and tapped on the closed shed door of a neighbor’s place. A hearty and cranky “meow” answered her, and Ziggy was found. Awww. …

September 23rd

Fido and Me – Fido tries 'doga'

September 23, 2011

“I’d like to try yoga.”

Fido lay at my feet, watching a yoga program on television.

“Well, it’s not unheard of,” I said. “People and dogs who do yoga together call it doga. They swear by it.”

“Tell me more, please,” Fido said.

“I will, but only if you tell me about this wild-hair of an idea first.”

“Oh, I don’t know, but I figure winter’s coming up pretty soon. There will be lots of days that just won’t be very pleasant outdoors, so I’m looking for something to do in here.”

“Fair enough, Fido.”

He leapt to his feet.

“Hey hey hey hey! When can we start?”

September 16th

Fido and Me – A cat!?

September 16, 2011

“I think we should maybe invite a cat into our home.”

Honestly, I thought I was hearing things.

“Fido, what did you just say?”

“Maybe we should get a cat.”

You could have knocked me over with a feather. There have been plenty of cool cats cross my path over the years. There was Buster, for example, over in the East Bay, and there was the cat in Cedar Rapids that caught everyone’s attention. His name was Director.

There were dozens of others.

There have been disasters, too, such as that Cat Who Shall Not Be Named.

August 27th

Fido and Me – Lockout!

August 27, 2011

Fido locked me out of the house. In the process, he locked himself in.

“Get me out of here!” he whimpered from behind the door.

“I’m trying, you big lug, but the deadbolt seems to have been tripped.”

“What’s a deadbolt?”

“A deadbolt, Fido, is the one lock on the door that I don’t have a key for! I’ve never even used the deadbolt and don’t even have a key for it. How the heck did the deadbolt get tripped?”

I tried to put the sequence together and that took a little time.

“Fido, was anyone in the house when I was gone?”

“I have to pee.”

“I know, I know. Me too!”

August 6th

Fido and Me – Fido enjoys a Happy Hour and teaches me how to slurp properly

August 6, 2011

“I’d like to have a Happy Hour.”

Fido’s funny like that. He comes up with things that are so out of the blue that I hardly know what to think.

“It sure sounds like fun,” he said. “I just don’t know what it is. Let’s have one.”

“We can have as many as we want,” says I. “What’s your idea?”

“Idea? I’m a dog. I don’t have ideas. I have instincts.”

“Tell you what. After work, we’ll have a Happy Hour.”

“Hey hey hey hey!”

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